I am sorry I have to take a few minutes to vent. So if you don't want to read something about me that will show you my bad side then don't read on please.
I take GREAT PRIDE in how I act, treat and respect people. I try to be understanding, polite, friendly, nice, helpful, and so on. I try not to cross the line.
Today though at one of my son's games I did the mistake to sit close to the other teams parents... We are all adults here right. We are here to enjoy a good game and then all go home happy.
Well, I do have to say this we have won a lot of games and we have lost a lot of games. The team we played today won us a few games ago, but we lived on. During the middle of the game I can hear a ladies voice making comments not once, but twice. I know it wasn't hearing things because even my husband told me to calm down. So I finally did the adult thing and moved away.
I usually will not say anything. I keep my mouth quiet and walk away. I have done this for many years trying not to hurt anyone feelings.... Since going back to work I have had to do that a lot lately. Dealing with people again has been a struggle for me. For five years I lived in a bubble ( my home) where I did not have to deal with the outside world if I didn't want to.
Okay, I did walk away my husband was trying to be nice and help me get over my anger that has been building up for months. Walk away he said walk away and I did.
The only problem was that the lady that was talking her C--- was right by the door that I needed to pass and of course my mouth opened and said something that I don't even want to repeat.... I had a few words with her that IS NOT BY MY STANDARDS allowed. There was no swearing.
I left upset, I am sure I upset her and my husband was upset. I could not believe I crossed the line. The line that I take great pride in not crossing. I lowered myself to be like the people that I disapprove of.
My horns came out. My anger came out. I apologized to my husband for acting so immature.
So why am I writting about this well maybe this will clear my concsious just a tad. I already ask GOD for an apology. I guess all that is left is to forget and move on and learn my lesson.
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4 comments:
Isn't it funny that disappointing yourself was harder to take than the woman yelling at the kids? You are a very caring person....one doesn't have to know you personally to tell that!!!!! I am witness to that:) Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. The woman may have learned a little from your comments. Maybe she will go home and think about what she said that upset you.....and in her heart of hearts may try to do a better job next time she is at a game. You never know!!!! Glad you had a place to vent.....and remember everyone gets to the breaking point once in a while. It isn't THAT BAD:) SMILE!
I agree with linda..you are a good person, move on, sometime we all let other's get under our skin......people NEVER cease to amaze me in what they say and do! hugs, and go easy on yourself! xxoo Lia
Please be kind to yourself, take a deep breath, and let it all go. Don't punish yourself anymore. It was what it was, and you have learned from it. I am sure the good you have done in your lifetime far outweighs the "bad". Take care.
It is uncomfortable, to say the least, when we do something that violates how we want to see ourselves. This kind of thing has happened to me recently, too. We feel like horrible people, and it takes a while to forgive ourselves. Everybody gets angry now and then. This doesn't change the good person you are. Linda is right, don't be so hard on yourself. Love, MM
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